Even if you are unfamiliar with the term “impostor syndrome,” I am almost Cheat in Your Relationship certain you are familiar with this psychological phenomenon. It consists in the fact that despite external evidence of their own competence, people suffering from this syndrome remain convinced that they are scammers and do not deserve the success they have achieved.
You can feel this way when you get a promotion, achieve professional success or in any job you do.
You can also feel this way in a relationship. If your previous relationships have been difficult and full of bitter compromises, when you meet someone who treats you well, you may think you don’t deserve it. You think this is not your place. You start living with the thought that YourLatinMates someday that person will see who you really are, and then you will lose it all. Don’t wonder if this will even happen. You only ask yourself one question: “When is this going to happen?”
It’s easy to assume that this kind of thinking applies to people who are extremely insecure, lacking achievement and choice, but it’s more complicated. Hundreds of observations prove that you can look like a model, have a sports car in your garage or a shelf full of prizes, and still be an unwanted girl with pimples inside, or a kid who was told that he was nobody and would get nothing.
The worst part, however, is that it affects your behavior. When you think you don’t deserve a good relationship, you stress more and smile less. You treat everyone of the opposite sex as a threat. Instead of enjoying the relationship, you just look for signs that something is wrong. You live with the conviction that it will only get worse and you charge your relationship with negative energy that can eventually destroy it.
If you are an anxious person, follow these steps each time:
1. Remind yourself who you REALLY are
What you think about yourself. Not who you were or were at any time in the past. Not what someone said about you.
Think about yourself now – what you know and what you can do. About what your closest people value you for. All the things you know that a random person on. The street can’t do. About what path you managed to overcome and how strong and valuable person you are.
This is especially important considering how our brains work. Unfortunately, they are structured in such a way that:
a) you remember negative things better than Cheat in Your Relationship positive ones,
b) fresh experiences can completely cover the older ones.
By consciously beginning to think about what is good about YourLatinMates.com you, you reverse the process and begin to see in yourself the person you really are, not the impostor.
2. Think about your relationship through the prism of facts
Now go to your relationship and focus on the pure facts.
- Is the other person with you or someone else?
- Who does he spend most of his free time with?
- Has this person given you reason to believe that they are disloyal?
- Is he trying to be better for you?
- Is she happy and says she is happy?
- Does he hug you and kiss you?
- Do I thank you for the little things?
- Does he compliments you?
- Does he remember anniversaries or take care of you when you feel unwell?
- Is he writing to you while you work just to tell you about a little bit?
List everything that person does for you and how they treat you. Thoughts are just thoughts, but facts describe your relationship.
3. Stop with grades – Cheat in Your Relationship
A common problem in human relationships is that they overestimate the importance of negative experiences and throw away all the positive ones.
The way it works is that you get 1 negative and 50 positive feedback, and then focus on that one negative. Why? Because the positive ones probably resulted from pity, others just wanted to be nice and they were just clichés, irrelevant.
That way, one negative sentence or opinion can ruin your day.
I don’t know if you see a paradox here, but it is that you question all the positives and at the same time accept the negative opinions indiscriminately. You take the compliment as someone tells you because they just want to be nice, but they criticize you because it’s true. In the meantime, he can do it because he wants to be mean, has a bad day, or is a bitter, petty person.
Therefore, stop interpreting the facts. Concentrate on the dates (that is, points 1 and 2).
4. Focus on what depends on you – Cheat in Your Relationship
You don’t control the other person. You don’t know if she’ll be honest with you, cheat on you, or flirt with someone.
There is nothing unusual about it. We influence our behavior, not its effect.
If you are a dietitian, your task is to arrange your diet according to your best knowledge and experience, but it is no longer up to you what someone does with it.
This also applies to the relationship – your job is to be fair to someone , take care of that person, not intentionally hurt them, and treat the relationship as something lasting and valuable, but you don’t decide what they’ll do.
Therefore, instead of judging whether this is enough for someone, ask yourself if your conduct is fair. Do what belongs to you. You have no control over the rest.
5. Act as if what is good in your life is due to you
(because that’s what it is)
Let me tell you something about human nature – we are selfish. Sure, we can show a big heart (which we have seen very clearly in recent weeks), but we care about our own interests on a daily basis.
If you pay for a movie ticket, it’s to have fun, not to let Ryan Reynolds have 5 zlotys on cotton pads.
If you hire someone, it is because you believe that that person will perform the assigned duties and earn more money for you.
You think about yourself and other people also think about yourself. Do you know what this means to you? This means that if someone asks you on a date, they believe that you can make them happy, and if someone is dating you, it’s because you give them happiness.
This is not a random chance or a roulette result. Cheat in Your Relationship You are with this person because she has recognized that you are someone important, valuable and unique to her.